I’ll just come right out and say it. My most successful work days involve poop. Well, not just poop. A good day usually revolves around Number 1 and Number 2.

Good old toilet training. It’s become my accidental area of expertise, and I’ve decided to write about it in response to my friends who are right now descending into the dark world of diaper changing. I like to think that this post will come in handy for them some day.

But for those of you who are ready to crawl out of the deep pit of diaper genies, diaper bags, and public restroom changing tables, I give you my top 5 toilet training tips.

1. Consistency

Thinking about taking the plunge into toilet training? My #1 tip is to prepare. For the love of all things holy, prepare! Sure, you can decide, after a particularly destructive Number 2, that you have changed your last diaper once and for all. But does that ever really work out? For anything? I think everyone has at one point proclaimed that alcohol would never again touch their lips, but then again, a little hair of the dog never hurt anyone, right?

If you want your child to be toilet trained within a reasonable period of time, you need to have a plan. And everyone needs to follow that plan. Visiting grandma this weekend? Going on vacation? Hosting the holidays? You may need to rethink your timing.

The more consistent your family is, the faster your child will get the hang of the whole “going” in the toilet thing. And while we’re on the subject of consistency, ditch the diapers and pull ups. Completely. Once you decide to go underpants, do not go back. Why? Consistency. Yes, diapers protect your furniture and floors, but they also protect your little one from the discomfort of wet clothing. The natural consequence of having an accident is discomfort. Whereas the consequence of going in the toilet will likely be a preferred goody/dance party (if you’ve properly planned). I don’t know about you, but I’ll take a dance party and gummy bears over wet pants any day.

2. Communication

This is a big one, especially if your child is not yet vocalizing their needs. You need to teach your child how to mand (request) to use the toilet. It may seem silly to have your child request to go to the bathroom at home, but they will need to learn to communicate when they've “gotta go” outside of the house. For example, when you’re in the middle of the grocery store, or when they begin preschool and need to get permission from the teacher.

Again, you’ll want to plan for this. How you teach your child to request the bathroom will vary depending on their language skills. I like to pair a picture of the bathroom/toilet with the language required to request, each and every time we make a trip to the bathroom. This language may be as simple as “Potty,” or more complex, such as “May I please use the bathroom.” For children who have not yet developed expressive vocalizations, they can communicate their needs through an AAC device, Picture Exchange system or sign language.

3. Positive Reinforcement

Let’s go back to that dance party and gummy bears. Positive reinforcement is the introduction of a stimulus that increases the probability of that behavior occurring in the future. In this case, the behavior we want to increase is “going” in the toilet. To do so, you need to identify a few reinforcers that will have your child going back for more! Then make sure to deliver those reinforcers immediately following a successful toilet trip.

4. Establishing Operations

First, check out the post on Establishing Operations. Basically, an EO alters the reinforcing effectiveness of a stimulus. Eating too many pretzels will make you thirsty, increasing the reinforcing effectiveness of water to quench that thirst. Or maybe you’re dieting and haven’t had a cookie in a long time, which just happens to be one of your favorite snacks. But then you go to a family party, where they have every type of cookie imaginable in a seemingly endless spread. Suddenly, you must have that cookie. Not surprisingly, deprivation also increases the reinforcing effectiveness of a stimuli.

When you’re toilet training, you’re going to need a few different EOs set in motion. First, you are going to need to get your child to drink a whole lot of liquids. This may require the use of salty snacks to get them thirsty. You will also need to place some of their favorite goodies under deprivation, and only allow access to them during toilet time. Say you’re using gummy bears to reinforce “going” on the toilet. You don’t want to then just go handing out gummy bears willy nilly as an afternoon snack. Why bother working so hard on the toilet for gummies when you can get them for free after lunch? The same goes for those dance parties.

5. Opportunities

Practice makes perfect, right? Give your little one more opportunities to successfully “go” on the toilet, and the sooner they'll be toilet trained. Keep those liquids coming throughout the day! BUT, cut back significantly in the afternoon. While you want to give them plenty of opportunities during the day, you don’t want to have them wetting the bed every night.

Additional Thoughts on the Planning Process

Again, plan. Write it out if you have to. It’ll come in handy during those panic stricken moments between your little one's all too familiar push face and your realization that there is no diaper under that adorable jump suit with the finicky buckles.

Here are a few things to think about when planning your potty training adventure:

• Clothing: Sure, dressing your kid up as a J.Crew model is fun. You know what’s not fun? Realizing that there is absolutely no way he is going to be able to get out of that adorable mini man suit in time. That’s just setting him up for failure. When you’re toilet training, make sure your child is dressed in loose, comfy, easy to remove clothing. They should be able to dress and undress themselves.
• Toilet Sitting: Your child may have had some experience sitting on the potty for funsies, but have they spent an extended period of time there? You may need to slowly introduce toilet time by gradually extending the period of time that they are required to sit. And make that time fun; sitting on the toilet should not feel forced or negative.
• Comfort: Adult sized toilets are pretty uncomfortable for most children. Does your little one look like they're about to fall in? Are their legs dangling awkwardly? Get them a child sized toilet seat cover and a stool for their feet to give them a little leverage.
• You got them the toilet, now what? You’re going to be spending a lot of time in the bathroom, and your little one is likely to quickly get bored of all that sitting. Make sure you have a bunch of games, books, and fun activities available to them during sit time, as you want to pair toilet time with positive reinforcement. Hopefully, if you’ve prepared enough to ensure a full bladder, you shouldn’t be there too long.
• Lubricate: No kid likes to spend a ton of time on the toilet when they don't have to “go.” Make sure they have a full bladder before sitting to increase the opportunities for success.
• Accidents: What will your response be when you notice your child’s pants mysteriously darkening in color? Hopefully a combination of using a neutral tone, minimal language, and having them clean up their mess like the big kid that they are.
• Successes: They went on the toilet! You’re going to need to deliver that positive reinforcement immediately each time (at least in the beginning). Have their favorite toy/snack/song within arms reach at all times.
• Ok! They went on the toilet! That’s it, right? Not quite. Remember when you did an amazing job sticking to your plan and had them drink all those liquids? They're going to have to go again. Plus, practice makes perfect. Make sure you’re setting them up for success by remaining close to the bathroom.
• Between Sits: Again, you never want to stray too far from the bathroom. But, you and your child may need a change of scenery. Make sure that after you have reinforced them for a success, give your kid a little break. Plan out what you will do between sits.
• Clean Pants Checks: This is a great way to reinforce staying dry. Between sits, schedule Clean Pants Checks, and have your little one check their pants themself.
• The Elusive Number 2: Typically, it takes a little longer for children to be fully toilet trained when it comes to bowel movements. This is of course due to the fact that there are fewer opportunities to practice this. If your child is regular and goes around the same time every day, make sure they are on or near the toilet at that time, and try your best to extend these toilet sits. They'll get the hang of it with practice.

Remember, while some children catch on within a few days, some may take a little longer. Make sure your schedule is flexible. You’re going to be spending a lot of time in and around the bathroom, so make sure you will be able to do so consistently for as long as your child needs. And if you need help, remember to reach out to your behavior analyst!

Good luck!