Handling tantrums at home can be tough, but when they happen in public places, the challenge escalates. Every parent has faced a grocery store meltdown or a restaurant outburst, but the good news is that with the right tools and strategies—based on Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA)—you can effectively manage these situations. ABA focuses on understanding the function of behaviors and implementing evidence-based strategies to reduce the frequency and intensity of tantrums. In this post, we’ll explore ABA-driven techniques to handle public tantrums and prevent them from happening in the future.

Understanding Why Tantrums Happen in Public

Tantrums are a form of communication, especially when children lack the language skills to express their needs. In public, tantrums may increase due to:

• Overstimulation: New environments, crowds, and noise can overwhelm a child’s senses, triggering a meltdown.
• Fatigue or Hunger: These common physiological needs can make children less tolerant of delays or changes in routine.
• Unfamiliarity: The unpredictability of public places (e.g., unfamiliar sights or people) may create anxiety, which leads to challenging behavior.

From an ABA perspective, understanding the function of the tantrum is crucial. Is your child seeking attention/connection, escape from a situation, access to an item/activity, sensory input? Identifying the function helps in determining how to respond and prevent future occurrences.

Prepare Your Child Before Going Out

ABA emphasizes antecedent interventions, which means addressing potential triggers before they lead to a problem behavior.

• Inform your child: Let your child know in advance what to expect. Simple, clear language or a visual schedule can provide structure and predictability, which reduces anxiety.
• Example: "First, we go to the store, then we will have snack time."
• Social Stories: These are short, personalized narratives that describe a situation, including what the child can expect and what they should do. 
• Bring comfort items: Something familiar, like a favorite toy or snack, can provide a sense of security in an unfamiliar setting.

ABA Principle in Action: By preparing your child and reducing ambiguity, you're addressing potential antecedents that could lead to a tantrum.

Remain Calm and Avoid Overreacting

Your own behavior plays a key role in how your child responds.

• Stay calm: Children often imitate their parents’ behavior. If you escalate emotionally, your child may escalate too. Practice deep breathing or take a moment to step away if you feel overwhelmed (assuming it’s safe to do so).
• Avoid reinforcing the tantrum: From an ABA perspective, a behavior that is reinforced will likely be repeated. If you give in to a demand during a tantrum (e.g., buy a candy to stop the crying), your child learns that tantrums are an effective way to get what they want. Instead, provide a similar but less desired item, such as a snack from your bag rather than candy from the check out aisle.

ABA Principle in Action: By providing lesser reinforcement when a tantrum occurs, you reduce the likelihood of strengthening the behavior.

Use Positive Reinforcement for Good Behavior

Positive reinforcement is a cornerstone of ABA and is highly effective in encouraging desired behaviors.

• Praise specific behaviors: When your child behaves appropriately in public, reinforce that behavior immediately with praise. Be specific so they know exactly what they did right.
• Example: “I love how you stayed next to me in the store!”
• Use small rewards: If public outings are challenging, consider a token economy or simple reward system. For example, earning a small prize or a treat after successfully completing a task (e.g., “If you stay next to me in the store, you’ll get 5 minutes of screen time when we get home”).

ABA Principle in Action: Positive reinforcement increases the likelihood that your child will repeat the desired behavior in future situations.

Redirect and Distract Your Child

Redirection is a helpful ABA technique, particularly when you catch the early signs of an impending tantrum.

• Engage them in a different task: If you notice your child becoming frustrated, empathize with them, then try to redirect their attention to something more enjoyable or interesting.
• Example: “Oh I know the line is long, look at those colorful balloons!” or “Oh I know you like those, can you help me find the apples?”
• Offer choices: Giving your child a sense of control can often defuse the situation. For instance, “Do you want to walk with me or sit in the cart?” This simple choice offers control while keeping you in charge of the situation.

ABA Principle in Action: Redirection serves as an antecedent intervention, preventing challenging behaviors by introducing a more acceptable alternative.

Set Clear and Simple Expectations

Children need to know what behavior is expected of them. In ABA, clear communication and manageable expectations are vital.

• Explain the plan: Before heading out, lay out the steps. Use clear, concise language or visual supports (like a picture schedule).
• Example: “We’re going to the store, and you need to stay by the cart. After we’re done, you can pick a snack.”
• Keep instructions simple: Avoid overwhelming your child with too many directives at once. Focus on one clear expectation at a time.

ABA Principle in Action: Setting clear expectations helps reduce the likelihood of a tantrum.

Practice Consistent Routines

Consistency is key in ABA, and routines help provide a sense of security for children.

• Stick to familiar routines: If possible, maintain the same routine for public outings. Children are more comfortable when they know what to expect.
• Use a routine even in public: If your child knows that after the grocery store comes a snack, they’ll be more cooperative because they anticipate the next part of the routine.

ABA Principle in Action: Consistency and predictability reduce the anxiety that often leads to tantrums.

Plan Breaks and Manage Expectations

Understanding your child’s limits and planning accordingly is crucial.

• Offer breaks: If your outing is long or overstimulating, plan for short breaks to allow your child to reset.
• Example: “Let’s go sit on this bench for a few minutes, then we’ll finish up.”
• Keep outings manageable: Know your child’s stamina for public places and plan outings accordingly. Don’t push them beyond their threshold, especially if they’re tired or hungry.

ABA Principle in Action: Managing expectations and providing breaks helps prevent the triggers that can lead to tantrums, addressing antecedents to challenging behavior.

After the Tantrum: Teaching and Reflecting

ABA focuses on teaching appropriate behaviors when your child is happy, relaxed, and engaged. During and right after a challenging situation has passed is not the appropriate time to teach appropriate behaviors. When you are removed from the situation (think, next day), and your child is happy, relaxed, and engaged, use that time as an opportunity to teach and practice what your child could do the next time.

• Reflect on the experience: Consider your own behavior and management of the situation. What triggered the behavior? What did the behavior look like? How did you respond to the behavior? What additional context surrounding the behaviors could help you better prepare next time? For example, did your child eat breakfast really early, skip snack, and you went grocery shopping around lunch time? Considering these factors can help you better prepare your child for the next outing. 
• Teach alternatives: Help your child build new skills by teaching them how to appropriately express their needs (e.g., using words, an AAC device, pointing to a picture, or signing).

ABA Principle in Action: By focusing on teaching replacement behaviors, you reduce the likelihood of future tantrums.

When to Seek Professional Help

While occasional tantrums are normal, frequent or intense outbursts may signal a need for professional intervention.

• Look for red flags: If tantrums are extremely frequent, last a long time, or involve aggression, it may be time to seek support from a BCBA (Board Certified Behavior Analyst).
• ABA Therapy: BCBAs work with families to develop customized behavior plans that focus on reducing tantrums by teaching functional, replacement behaviors.

ABA Principle in Action: Professional intervention is key when behaviors persist despite the implementation of strategies, as a BCBA can conduct a thorough functional behavior assessment and create a tailored intervention.